


You're A Blessing, Zhong Chenle

by DaisyKwan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Insecurity, Jisung is hella caring, Light Angst, M/M, implied depression, insecure Chenle, nothing happens cause theyre children and thats gross, theres a shower scene but like Jisung just helps chenle get in, what even is this?, worried Jisung, you'll understand if you read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 18:57:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14817014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyKwan/pseuds/DaisyKwan
Summary: Chenle has been feeling insecure and sad lately and hasn't been to school for a while.Jisung is worried about his boyfriend. He's not answering his texts or phone calls.





	You're A Blessing, Zhong Chenle

"I'm sorry Jisung, I'm going to have to cancel our plans," Chenle said, his voice raspy from crying. Lately, Chenle had been feeling quite forlorn and insecure. He's not sure why but it's been frustrating him, he woke up one morning and felt numb, empty, and sad. He hadn't been going to school for the past week, unable to leave his bed. 

"Chenle, what's wrong? Why haven't you been to school in the past week? Why aren't you answering my texts or calls?" Jisung asked making Chenle's throat suddenly feel tight and tears well up in his eyes threatening to fall. Chenle opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out, he was glad nothing came out; he couldn't trust his voice. "Chenle? Are you still there?" Jisung asked voice filled with worry. 

"I'm sorry," Chenle whispered his voice cracking. Pulling the phone away from his ear he pressed  _end call_ and fell back onto his bed covering his eyes with his arm. He let out a choked sob and let his tears stream down his face. He let himself cry as loudly as he could, no one was home so he could cry as much as he wanted and as loudly as he wanted. He was so sad, he felt so numb and empty, but at the same time; he felt nothing. Absolutely nothing, he hated it with a burning passion. He felt so insecure, he covered all the mirrors in his room and bathroom. He hasn't looked in one for a week, he felt so disgusting, he hasn't left the house, he felt so ashamed, he couldn't leave the house. Chenle's own family hasn't seen him in a week. Chenle knows he's a mess right now. He knows he looks bad, he hasn't showered in a while, he hasn't eaten. It just all felt so burdensome, he couldn't find the energy or motivation to leave his bed. 

He knows he should've texted and called Jisung back, but he just didn't have the energy. He found himself just staring at the text; unanswered. He listened to Jisung's voicemails over and over just to hear his voice but never got the courage to call back. He wants to hide, he doesn't want to be seen, he feels so ugly. He wants a mask to hide behind. Chenle sobbed loudly as he thought about Jisung and how he must be feeling; neglected, frustrated, fed up, angry, worried. He didn't mean for Jisung to possibly feel those things. "Jesus, Chenle, why are you so stupid? Why are you so selfish? Why do you only think about yourself?" Chenle cried out. 

 -

Chenle feels like he's been crying for half an hour but it turns out he's been crying for about 3 hours. Chenle heard a knock on his bedroom door, he shut his lips and quietly snuck into bed, under the covers. He heard the door open then close. "Chenle?" a familiar voice called whispered, it was Jisung. Chenle's eyes widened then he shut them tight pretending to sleep. "Chenle, I know you're awake. I heard you crying," Jisung said sitting on the edge of Chenle's bed. Chenle stayed where he was hoping Jisung would somehow believe he fell asleep that fast. "Chenle, come on, I know you're awake. Please talk to me," Jisung begged, putting a hand on Chenle's shoulder. Still nothing. Jisung sighed and crawled in beside him and wrapped his arms around Chenle's waist and pulled him close.

"Don't, I smell," Chenle whispered. Jisung let out a sigh of relief and kissed Chenle's neck.

"I don't care, I don't care if you smell, you're my boyfriend who cut all contact with me. I missed you, I thought something bad happened to you. I thought I'd never see you again."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"For making you worry," Jisung was silent for a few moments. He turned Chenle over so he was facing him. Chenle brought his hands up to his face, hiding it. Jisung grabbed his hands and removed them.

"Don't do that, Chenle. I want to see you."

"But I'm ugly."

"You're the cutest and most handsome person on this planet. You're not ugly. Who told you, you were ugly?"

"No one."

"Chenle."

"I'm serious, no one told me I'm ugly but I just am."

"What's got you thinking like that, baby?" Jisung asked sweeping Chenle's hair out of his face gently and kissed his forehead.

"I don't know Jisung, I'm just so sad, I feel like there's no hope for me, I feel so numb and empty but at the same time, I feel nothing at all. I also feel so insecure, which is why I covered every mirror in the house, I know I look terrible-"

"You look beautiful."

"Don't interrupt me. I know I look terrible, I know I smell, I know I look pretty thin. I haven't eaten all week, I haven't showered either. I just couldn't leave my bed, Jisung. It's so hard," Chenle said voice cracking. Jisung nodded and played with Chenle's hair.

"Do you know why you're so upset?"

"No."

"What can I do to help?" Chenle let his tears fall once more. No one has ever asked that.

"I don't know."

"Name one thing."

"I don't know, Jisung," Jisung sighed and lightly lifted Chenle's head. He leaned in hesitantly and placed his lips on Chenle's, he moved his lips slightly and Chenle kissed back moving his lips against Jisung's. Jisung pulled away and pecked his nose. 

"Talk to me when you're feeling like this, I'll make sure you know how beautiful you are.:

"Hey, that sounds weird."

"How?"

"It just does," Chenle mumbled blushing. Jisung didn't get it, but he just shook it off and pulled Chenle closer. 

"Please come to me if you are feeling sad, angry, insecure, literally I don't care what you're feeling. Just come to me so we can sort it out."

"I'm sorry for being so sad."

"Don't ever feel sorry for your feelings. They're something you can't control, understand?" Chenle nodded. Jisung pulled away a bit.

"Do you think you could get out of bed?" Chenle shrugged. "Chenle, could you try and get out of bed, look in the mirror, shower, brush your teeth, and eat? Please?" Chenle sighed and sat up. He sat there a few minutes and then swung his legs off his bed. He tried to stand up but then fell back down on his bed. Jisung walked over to Chenle and held his hand out. Chenle looked at it and grabbed it, Jisung helped him up and walked to the bathroom with him. "You change out of your clothes and I'll get you some new clothes. I'll be back to help you if you need it," Jisung told him walking out of the bathroom. Chenle weakly took off his clothes and grabbed a towel.

Jisung came back in and put the clothes on the counter. He helped Chenle into the tub and got the water running. "What do you want to eat?" Jisung asked once Chenle was in the shower, water from the shower head splashing both of them, more so Chenle as he was the one who was fully in the shower. 

"I'm not hungry," Chenle said wetting his hair then poured shampoo into his hands. Jisung rolled his eyes.

"I'm ordering a few large pizzas then, it's a good thing I brought my wallet AND I just got paid," Chenle let out a dry chuckle.

"Ahh, my throat is so dry."

"Just like, drink some of the water coming out of the showerhead."

"Ew no, could you get me some water?"

"Yeah, I'll order the pizza then grab you some water," Jisung said heading out into the kitchen. He pulled out his phone and called the pizza place near Chenle's house that delivers. Walking to the cupboard he ordered while getting Chenle some water. "Hi, I'd like to order 2 large pizzas. One kimchi pizza and one pepperoni pizza," there was a silence for a minute in the Zhong home. "It's the big white house with stone siding on the end of 53rd Ave. Okay, see you soon" Jisung hung up and went back to the bathroom, walking in he saw Chenle putting on his clean shirt. He put the glass of water on the counter. "Here you go, the pizza should be here in like 25 minutes. Have you looked in the mirror yet?"

"No, not yet. I'm scared of what I look like Sungie," Chenle confessed. Jisung's face softened and he gave Chenle a small smile.

"It'll be okay," Jisung comforted Chenle, rubbing Chenle's back. Jisung grabbed the sheet that was over the mirror and pulled it down carefully. Chenle looked in the mirror and made a face.

"I look so bad, I look sick, my face is so sunken in. What do I do? Also, where did this facial hair come from?" Chenle said leaning in to look at his facial hair. "Do I shave?" Chenle asked Jisung turning to him.

"I can shave your face if you want," Chenle smiled slightly and nodded. Jisung smiled back and grabbed Chenle's fathers shaving cream and razor, he washed his hands and then dried them. He squirted some shaving cream in his hands and spread it on Chenle's face, he washed his hands once more and took the razor and laughed at Chenle having a shaving cream beard.

"What's so funny?" Chenle tittered.

"You look cute with a shaving cream beard,"

"Oh shush," Jisung rolled his eyes and started shaving Chenle's face. "Ow!" Chenle yelled pulling away. Jisung's eyes widened.

"Did I cut you? I'm sorry Chenle!"

"I'm kidding,"

"Bully," Jisung said continuing his shaving job.

 -

Jisung had finished shaving Chenle's face just in time cause there was a knock on the door. Jisung quickly wiped Chenle's face and went down to the door pulling out his wallet and paying the man. He grabbed both pizza boxes and shut the door. Turning around he was startled by Chenle standing behind him. Jisung gasped and put a hand on his chest. "I have to put a bell on you, oh my god. You scared me," Chenle giggled and grabbed the pizzas and set them on the coffee table. Jisung reached for the TV remote and Chenle put his hand on Jisungs.

"Please keep it off," Chenle said in a small voice, Jisung nodded and removed his hand from the remote and opened the pizza boxes. "Thank you, Ji." Chenle smiled shyly.

"You're welcome," Jisung said handing Chenle a piece of pizza and took one for himself. "Don't eat too much, Lele, you'll get sick. You haven't eaten anything all week so if you eat too much you'll get sick." Chenle nodded and took a bite out of his pizza.

"Did I miss anything exciting at school?" 

"Unless you could count Mark getting into a fist fight exciting, then no."

"He fought?" Chenle asked his eyes wide.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Someone was picking on Donghyuk or something and Donghyuk went to him crying and when Mark confronted the guy the guy for some dumb reason tried to fight Mark. All Mark wanted to do was talk things out but like, this guy, just threw punches at Mark. It was wild."

"Sounds like it. Anything new with you?"

"No."

"Are you telling the truth?"

"Yes, I missed you though."

"How much?"

"Too much."

 -

Chenle was cut off from pizza as soon as he finished his fourth piece. Jisung closed the boxes and put them in the fridge. Jisung walked into the living room and Chenle made grabby hands at him. Jisung shyly giggled and smiled at how cute Chenle looked. "Kiss, please," Jisung heard Chenle say. He felt his stomach flip and butterflies erupt in his stomach. He stood in front of him and leaned down pecking his lips. "That's all?" Chenle asked pouting his lips a bit. "No one's here, you don't have to be so hesitant about it. It's just us." Jisung sat down beside Chenle and kissed his shoulder, neck, jaw, and cheek, then his lips.

"You're a blessing, you know that right?" Jisung said leaning his head on Chenle's shoulder.

"Me? A blessing?"

"Yes, you're a blessing."

"Stop trying to flatter me."

"It's not flattery if it's true."

"That was smooth."

"I know. How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"Let's go to bed," Jisung said standing up. Chenle took his hand and stopped him.

"I don't want to go to my room. I want to rearrange it before sleeping in it again,"

"I don't feel comfortable in there anymore."

"Sleep on the couch?"

"Guest," Jisung and Chenle climbed the stairs and went into the guest room. Jisung cleaned up a bit and turned on the heater as it was a bit cold in the room. Chenle climbed into the bed and fell asleep almost instantly. Jisung climbed in beside him and wrapped his arms around Chenle's waist and kissed the back of his head.

"Good night, I love you."


End file.
